Mind Maze

Hi readers today i'm totally puzzled about whats all happening in my life n i'm trying to understand what the hell does my life wants from me. Let me tell you few days back was a student of KIIT n now i'm a student of nothing because i left KIIT after looking into last years cutoff in government colleges n made me happy with a ray of hope for a better future. But this doesn't even lasted for 24 hours, when the 2nd mock counselling was released where i was getting private college. It has made me weak like a man in New York with a dollar in his pocket.

Actually my luck always sucks. When ever i try to do something good my luck ditches me and make me fall downstairs in my life. I got 3973 ranks in OJEE examination n according to last year's stats I would have got IGIT sarang Computer Science, with that hope i withdrew the money worth Rs 1.4 lakhs from KIIT university, where i had got Electronics and electrical engineering. In short i was eligible to get a sure sort job in a IT company n left it. With the hope of getting government college seat I donated a profit of 6 lakhs to KIIT university as my seat will be now a management seat, someone rich enough will buy that seat for his son or daughter.

With all those up n down now i'm totally screwed up. After admission tension next comes my health. I had my operation last month n till now a small portion of my ass is not healing up instead its bleeding n making me more weaker n weaker. With this I need to go Hospital daily n cover around 24 kms daily n spend 100 daily. The doctor is also amazed with the fact that why isn't the wound healing up n he had given sample for culture test. Because of my health my whole family is under lots of pressure and its also happening that some are not getting good sleep thinking about my health n some have wished that If i get well I have to do that n this before god. I myself is losing heart n feeling pity over myself n a question arouse 'What the F*@#king reason that i was born on this earth?

All these circumstances my mind moves round n round like wheel n doesn't reach anywhere. Sometimes the mind put forward positive ideas n some times its opposite, mostly when i see F@#king other people who where nothing before now getting what they don't deserve all because of luck n for their by birth reservation.

My bro says that i have a very good mind with lots a capability for mind imaging, but for now it seems useless because the luck has overpowered over my abilities. People says they are proud to be Indian but I feel different If India would have been such great then students wouldn't have been divided as GENERAL, SC, ST and OBC. What sort of equality is this? We say everyone is equal before law then where does this constitution people are divided depending upon race and sex. Where does this constitution goes when people who deserve better gets nothing?????

Anyways please pray for me that i get well soon n I get a good college Bye... I seek blessing from you...